Feb 03, 12 04:05AM
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Take six dreadful yogurt ads aimed at women, skewer them mercilessly, Sarah Haskins-style, and wonder along with me what these dim-bulb marketers are thinking when they come up with this stuff. Continue reading
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Sign in nowPull yourself together, Dave.
Handing out phony $10 bill “tips” is not rational. It’s just stupid!
I agree, Dr. Ruth. Many years ago, when my son Ben was in high school, he worked at a local (full service) gas station after school. That was the first time I realized that many people tip their gas station attendants! Ben told me that his regular customers would often say: “Keep the change!” when giving him a $20 bill for an $18 fill, particularly when he had washed the windows, checked the oil, tire pressure, etc. He was absolutely thrilled about each tip! Since then, in a world of self-serve NON-service, I like to “show my appreciation” for gas station employees who go above and beyond the ordinary with “outstanding” service. It all makes for feel-good karma, I think.
Mea culpa, mea culpa!
Okay, I have to bite here. Carolyn, thank you for bringing this topic up! I have long wanted to have a conversation about it.
Disclaimers for me include the following:
1. My daughter has not worked as a waitress. I, however, have.
2. I am not Christian.
3. Despite what you will read below, I probably tip more than the majority of people. I usually leave a 20-25% tip, so don’t think I’m tight fisted.
4. I give, give, give, from the heart, to those in need. Last year I gave a woman I was babysitting for $1,000 anonymously when she was in an auto accident and couldn’t afford even a down payment on another (very used) car. (Yes, you read that right. I was the babysitter.) I also bought a pack of cigarettes for a homeless person who was standing by a public ashtray on the sidewalk smoking butts. These are two extreme examples. Most of my giving is more “ordinary,” but give, I do.
5. I am NOT a person of “means”. Considering the babysitting, maybe that’s obvious, but I thought I’d be real clear.
This tipping custom is baffling, arbitrary, and defies logic, and it rankles me every time the issue comes up. Maybe someone here can explain how the explicit rules as well as the rules actually followed make sense. I have posed a short list of questions, in no particular order. Have at it – make my day – clarify for me why any of this makes sense?
First of all, where do we draw the line? When do we NOT tip? Why? According to whom?
People tip the waiter in an expensive restaurant handsomely, but how often do employees of McDonalds see any tip at all? Who needs the money more? Do we tip to help out those (presumably) in more need or do we blindly follow a nonsensicle social custom of percents (when it comes to food service)?
And who came up with this 15% rule? It simply guarantees that those working in the most fashionable, high end eating establishments may well make more money than many professionals, while those serving customers at diners will continue to need food stamps (and a lot of food-stretching know-how) to feed their families.
What if “the person doing things for me,” to use Ruth’s definition, makes more money than I do?
Exactly who is included in “the person doing things for me”? I am a (retired) nurse. I am guessing I am not on the list for who to tip. What about doctors? Nurse’s aides? What about the housekeeping staff? Those housekeepers you see? Or will you include those who work in the laundry, also at minimum wages, if wages have anything to do with it? (Do they?) What about the janitor, who we never see but who keeps the restrooms clean? I could go on and on.
But instead I’ll stop here. It’s late and I’m tired. My thoughts aren’t well organized, but you catch my drift. I guess there is an overall question of why and why not? The answers I get or guess at don’t seem to make any sense. The whole issue is just frustrating.
Now I have to ask, Carolyn, seeing as how I just did something for you in posting on your blog, (okay, it’s a stretch…), where’s my tip?
Thanks again for choosing this topic,
Bev
Bev-
you need to realize that the majority of people working in the service industry (at least in the US) make far below minimum wage, have poor or no healthcare and benefits, and that 15 – 20% is what pulls them up to making a modest wage. I think you’d be hard pressed to find the wait staff that makes more than a professional does, and if you do, remember they are on their feet for an entire shift, a lot of them work double, and they have to deal with people and complaints all day long. I highly doubt the professional has a revolving cast of new faces they must please over and over all day every day. This includes people who are down right rude and offensive, as well as people who are great.
Carolyn –
On the other end, I am a valet at a high end restaurant where the service is complimentary to our guests. I’m sorry to say that I have been on the receiving end of numerous of these fake $10 bible tracts as well as just regular tracts. We’ve been stiffed by so many Christians, that when we hear a Christian radio station in someones car, nine times out of ten, the tip will be poor or nothing at all. I grew up in a Christian family, and I’ve been out with those people that somehow don’t think they have to tip and it doesn’t paint them to be the horrible people they are. When I see this, I end up tipping for them because I’m embarrassed by their conduct. It makes me think, what would Jesus do?
Indeed. Thanks for your perspective as one who knows.
On Being A ‘Difficult’ Patient
Found at:
http://content.healthaffairs.org/content/27/5/1416.full
“In the clinical world, the term difficult is applied to a variety of patients: the noncompliant; the rude, abusive, and manipulative; the malingering; the mentally ill; the skeptical.
In my case, I too frequently challenged my doctors with questions and too often chose a treatment that differed from what they’d recommended. I consider myself to be an assertive patient, but it was clear on many occasions that some providers thought I deserved the “difficult” label.”
” Being difficult was my natural response when my doctor was incompetent, rude, or domineering. I didn’t need a physician to be my “perfect agent” (the phrase from health economics that the physician is the patient’s agent).
I needed a physician to be an additional source of information and insight to support my informed decision making. I wasn’t interested in being told what to do, and I expected my doctors to respect my right to make truly informed choices that were consistent with the way in which I wanted to intervene in my disease and live my life.”
I must not be expressing myself very well. I did not say I was opposed to tipping. I said I am frustrated by the unfair and irrational rules. My examples were giving a waiter at a high end (say, $150+ dinner for two) a 15% tip,($37.50) while giving nothing to a woman at a fast food restaurant. And even if you tipped her, the meal would certainly not exceed $30 for dinner for two and give her a tip of $4.50. What is fair about that? I don’t not want to tip. I want the tipping to be FAIR. The woman at McDonald’s is surely in more trouble financially, don’t you think?
The same logic and my same frustration is present in the unfairness of tipping a maid but skipping the janitor and laundry people. Why are we tipping some but not others? Where is the fairness there?
I didn’t include another aspect here, but why do we only tip people who are doing something for us? Why don’t we give to the people at rest stops and along the freeway who are cleaning up litter? How about store clerks? There are thousands of jobs not in the service industry who are making pathetic incomes with no benefits. Why do we have such an arbitrary system? I can see how it naturally evolved from the combination of good manners in terms of expressing thank you and recognizing that person makes low wages, but we are also rational people, too. I just don’t understanding the arbitrariness of tipping a select group and ignoring others.
AND, if we tip all those deserving under my criteria, there might not be much middle class left. As I said, there are thousands of people working for far below poverty wages. If I were to give to every one of theme connected with my daily business, like the janitors in my grocery stores and department stores, *Rite Aide kinds of stores and all, what is left in my pocket?
A last issue I have is my own belief in looking globally rather than with horseblinders and only seeing local need. Why are we spending this tip money to better the life of those who are scraping by when there are millions who are not even doing that? I dedicate pretty much 100% of my charitable money to an organization which has its primary focus of saving lives – literally. Those people are far away, but out of sight – out of mind is a ridiculous excuse for giving generous tips to those who ARE scraping or better, (my hair dresser – we tip all hair dressers, right? – takes himself and his mother on a luxury vacation at least once a year), rather than people sleeping ON THE FLOOR in their straw thatched, one room hut with the dirt floor, which becomes a MUD floor when it rains and the rain leaks through the thatch. Their water is full of parasites and all manner of other life robbing micro-organisms. They have far too little to eat, never mind the right food. These people very often live miles from any clinic and have only their legs for transportation. They don’t even try to reach help unless the need is great and then the very ill villager, carried on a litter of two rough planks, will frequently not even survive the several day journey to see a doctor. Where is the fairness in any of the rules we are living by?**
I write letters of commendation for service above average. Often. How many do that? I do not imply you can live on complements, but they may well lead to a raise and it’s a way to “tip” the many who never get any actual tips in our arbitrary system of recognition.
Is it clear that I am not begrudging the poor? Can you see I am doing my best to try to get my excess into the hands who need it the most? If you can’t, then I ask you to just believe me when I say I care and ACT to recognize, thank, and reward locally. including MORE GENEROUS THAN MOST. (Remember the 20 to 25% tips I said I give?)
Can anyone explain to me how our current unwritten tipping rules are fair? Will anyone address the concerns I have expressed?
______________
*I have no idea what Rite Aid pays their employees or if they sub-contract janitorial work through a janitorial company, or what. Just an example of a store which seems unlikely to be handing out any big paychecks.
**To be honest, I have a hard time justifying the home I live in and everything in it, with its enormous relative wealth, to say nothing about squandering my money eating out when I could be using that money to save lives. How many people needlessly die when I buy that darling sweater or go out for dinner to my favorite Indian restaurant? Are there others who ask these questions?
I liked browsing through NLIA, thanks for the link. Like a microcosm of sociology, all the stories and helpful break-up tips. Plus bargain shopping, what’s not to like about this?! Fascinating.
Hi Bev – I know what you’re saying. Tipping is a very arbitrary custom in our culture – some get tips, others don’t – and as you said previously, it defies logic. Who knows who made this stuff up? I do love your “letters of commendation” idea and wish we all did more of that in general. I once stayed in a hotel that had a framed letter displayed in the elevator, a thank you letter from a former hotel guest who had specifically acknowledged a number of helpful staff members by name, with specific details of why they’d made such an impact during his stay there. Just imagine what seeing this letter displayed publicly must have meant to those hotel employees day after day!
As for the “Why?” of tipping, good question! I prefer to chalk this up to just being a custom of the particular society we live in. Different customs in different cultures. Western cultures seem to have adopted this custom as a societal norm. I don’t think we’re going to end it.
cheers,
C.
It IS fascinating, isn’t it? And a smart-looking site, too.
Yep—- love those ads. (grin)
But the FDA wasn’t laughing.
“In one television advertisement for Activia yogurt, actress Jamie Lee Curtis lounges on a couch holding a newspaper. She tells viewers that many people suffer from irregularity, and that “our busy lives sometimes force us to eat the wrong things at the wrong time.” She reassures viewers that Activia can help.”
http://www.ftc.gov/opa/2010/12/dannon.shtm
(As already reported here on another entry)
“…our busy lives sometimes force us to eat the wrong things at the wrong time…” Things like Activia . . .
Absolutely brilliant post! So many of my prejudices justified. Your blog is wonderful, Carolyn. I’m almost inspired to go to the fridge and chuck out those lurking yogurt pots that may be slightly past their best before dates… on the other hand, perhaps scientists could test them to see whether aging yogurt contains properties that can really make me younger than springtime, or regular, or just irritatingly perky.
Kate
Oh, “younger than springtime” – that would be nice! Should we just slather some of that past-due yogurt directly on our faces? Thank you, Kate!
[...] of Pediatrics at Harvard Medical School. Couldn’t sound better, could it? But he has also received a great deal of money from industry sources—like artificial infant formula manufacturers Mead Johnson and Nestle Ltd. His study on optimal [...]
[...] and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), the bible of mental health clinicians, have ties to the drug industry. Likewise, a 2009 study showed that 18 out of 20 of the shrinks who wrote the American Psychiatric [...]
I just received a notice from the President of Virgil Films informing me that the DVD of Miss Representation will be closed captioned when it releases in April on NetFlix etc.
That was nice of him, I thought.
[...] have eliminated palm oil from their cookies, and are offering to help the Girl Scouts USA and Girl Guides Canada do the same. The English bakers also found, unsurprisingly, that replacing unhealthy palm oil with [...]
That WAS nice – thanks for letting us know!
This is absolutely crazy!! Poor consumer!! I always thought that generics weren’t as good as name brand. Do you want a pair of Levis? or a pair of Walmart brand jeans?
I really hate to see what these Big Pharma companies do to all the pain medications that chronic pain patients need to live some kind of a quality of life. I’m sure they really care about the patient. Yea right. They don’t care. They only want the BIG money that insurance companies provide. There’s too many pills out nowadays. Many will make you sicker than you were before taking them. A pill for this, a pill for what that one causes. On and on… disgusting isn’t it? Then you see a commercial ad saying how great a med is, then all the side effects including death right behind that. Look folks.. We can’t all live forever. So stop trying to keep us alive. The world is over populated now and we are on the road to running out of food. Give us a break…
Interesting piece. I agree with all except number 3. Much of what matters (quality of life issues) can not be counted and much of what can be measured and counted does not count or matters very little (eg whether cholesterol is up point something).
Hello Dr. Joe – I suspect Picard would agree with you especially in the day to day provision of health care in a medical practice. I took #3 to mean more systemic issues (like funding unnecessary screening tests, for example).
cheers,
C.
Thanks for the mantras!
[...] of Pediatrics at Harvard Medical School. Couldn’t sound better, could it? But he has also received a great deal of money from industry sources—like artificial infant formula manufacturers Mead Johnson and Nestle Ltd. His study on optimal [...]
Is Dr. Richard Petrella of Hamot Hospital in Erie, PA also being investigated?
Don’t know.
And yet Yaz continues to be sold for birth control, after the misleading information was removed, of course. “Lifestyle” drug information was removed but the other dangers of Yaz weren’t changed. Sigh.
“Risk of blood clots higher for oral contraceptives with certain progestins” JAMA 2011
“Certain progestins” = drospirenone
I don’t get it either. Physicians continue to prescribe this drug despite over 10,000 pending lawsuits over injuries allegedly caused by the pills, including FDA reports on at least 50 deaths of those taking Yaz or Yasmin from 2004 to 2008. Do we have another Vioxx on our hands here?
I have been amazed by this unfolding story. Says something about profitability that the company does not withdraw the drug given the number of lawsuits. Vioxx does come to mind. And it is not as if there are not other oral contraceptives available.
Or (and I do have my tongue firmly in cheek) maybe blood clots are God’s way of “punishing” those evil souls who use birth control
Hi Dr. Joe – since there ARE other oral contraceptives out there, this case is indeed mystifying. As Dr. David Kessler wrote in his FDA submission: “Bayer repeatedly overstated the benefits of the pills and downplayed their risks, engaging in extensive, systematic off-label promotion of Yasmin and YAZ for PMS, in violation of FDA law and regulations, thereby unnecessarily exposing large numbers of women to risk of thromboembolic events.” And yet this advisory panel’s members (with financial ties to Bayer) conclude that there’s no problem here. A good example of “marketing-based medicine” at its finest.
Oh, sorry. I had to stop dancing while eating my yogurt just long enough to watch this brilliant little film. Now. Back to the yogurt and dancing around the kitchen . . .
Wow! I was just reading about this bizarre place – a customer had a heart attack here right in the middle of eating a TRIPLE BYPASS BURGER. Is it too politically incorrect to observe that any person who orders this food in this place is merely getting what he deserves?
Lauren. Are you mocking these ads!?!?
I’m so happy that you posted this ad!! I had saved it myself when I first saw it in 1993. It was lost in a move and I have been trying to get it back ever since. It’s such a powerful and beautiful piece!
Well, I got most of them thanks to my advanced age (grin). I love a game!
# 14 (guessed that it was a life insurance type company) but I don’t see the answer here.
Thanks for pointing out the typo, Cave! #14′s answer was inadvertently tucked up on line #13 – fixed now. Congrats on using your advanced age and wisdom to score well here.
I was diagnosed 7 years ago with a Gleason 9 (4 plus 5), which to date has not been treated at all. I’ve done the prerequisite scans, MRSI’s, Color Dopplers, PSA’s etc,,,,but no further biopsies(believe they can be very harmful to my health,,,,sepsis and all. And to date I am doing very well, but PSA is a bit high and of some concern.
Some 2 years ago I purchase my first copy of The Big Scare by Dr. Horan; subsequently purchased many more that I present to members of our local support groups. This book gave me confidence of my strategy to basically ignore this disease, first because I had long believed that treatment was of zero or almost zero value, and 2nd that even without treatment my chance of surviving this disease long enough to expire from some other disorder was close to 80 plus percent and I would rather enjoy an excellent QOL for my remaining years and not to be incontinent and impotent; additionally not wish to die from some treatment related morbidity such as surgery related or hormone related complication.
Now I find that the book The Big Scare is no longer available except at extremely high used pricing and too that the Kindle version (was available for a short time as such) was unavailable.
Did Dr. Horan step on a few too many toes, was he bought off or just what? Any ideas from anyone as to why this very important book is gone? The facts and statistics were outstanding in presenting information that was not available in any other book that I have read… and I’ve read them all, ranging from Dr. Sturm’s to Scholz’s, to Scardino and Walsh.
I’ve called Dr. Horan. He was extremely polite but non-responsive as to my query as to if there would be a re-print of the book.
Another point of interest was that most all books had numerous reviews on Amazon, but this book in 2 years only engendered 3 reviews. What is this all about?
Any comments or information would be welcome.
Hello Rozier – very odd. I found a number of used books available for sale online (Amazon, Abe Books) but the prices are crazy ($80-120 – for a used book!) Why don’t you consider submitting your own customer review on Amazon?
I hope Dr. Horan does consider releasing another edition.
Stay healthy!
regards,
C.
Why isn’t California disciplining their dangerous doctors? Same reason the Texas Medical Board isn’t disciplining theirs.
In Texas, doctors can injure or kill their patients without accountability ever since Governor Rick Perry signed the 2003 Tort Reform Act. Tort Reform strangled the 7th Amendment and allowed it to die a slow unceremonious death.
If you want to view the collateral damage left behind Tort Reform inflicted by negligent reckless doctors, Google: Cleveland Mark Mitchell Dec 12 1950 – April 26 2008 – Youtube.
If you want to view the face of Dr Javier Andrade who dropped the ball by failing to provide the basic standard of care to my husband in a Galveston, Texas emergency room and who died shortly thereafter, watch: Why did you drop the ball Dr Andrade?
He is free to practice medicine at a New York Bariatric Group because the Texas Medical Board failed to police after their own and allowed countless of doctors to injure or kill Texans without accountability.
Are we sacrificing fundamental constitutional liberties secured in the Bill of Rights to protect a few bad doctors like Dr Javier Andrade with Tort Reform? Yes we are.
Thank you for your time,
Cilla Mitchell
A Texas nurse and vet
Fun!
I have to give my “Takes a lickin’” Timex story: I put my watch in my jeans pocket and forgot it was there, washed the jeans, dried ‘em, took out the jeans, found the watch, and tick, tick, tick! Kept on tickin’! You can imagine how sorry I was when a year or so later, I LOST it! My loyal, true, blue Timex watch! But pretty good testimonial, eh?
Now THAT is a great Timex story, Bev! You should have been doing commercials for the product.
There are many issues with pharmaceuticals but at least they are trialled before going to market. Devices are subject to very little testing by comparison. Witness the problems with PIP implants and metal on metal hips
Thanks Dr. Joe – this report makes Big Pharma look positively angelic by comparison. For our readers’ benefit, here’s more info via Reuters on the PIP breast implants and metal hips.
I just discovered this site. I have been obsessed with this subject since I was a Crestor victim several years ago. After taking a low dose of this drug for several months, I developed a laundry list of symptoms. Having not been warned about side effects, I concluded that old age was quickly setting in. Eventually, I found some websites devoted to the negative side effects of statins and realized the truth, I was being poisoned.
I went off the medication and quickly recuperated. This experience left me quite frustrated and angry. The FDA and the medical profession do not take our very real complaints seriously. Both my old doctor and my new one stated that they would not report my complaints to the FDA because they were not “serious enough”.
Must a patient wind up in the hospital or dead before anyone pays attention? The real problems we experience from drugs are anecdotal, while Big Pharma statistics are the gold standard. The fact that the FDA now lists memory problems as a possible side effect of statin drugs is because of patient complaints. How many patients actually complain? Surely those they hear from are just the tip of the iceberg.
It is not outside the realm of possibility that dietary cholesterol may not be the great satan. Gluttony, lack of exercise and heredity all play a role. No one lives forever. Can Big Pharma extend our lives and better the quality?
Ultimately each one of us has to make our own decisions about our health. What do we eat, how much do we exercise, do we take drugs to lower our cholesterol or supposedly to strengthen our bones. We must educate ourselves and be armed with our own research to better decide when and if we want to add big pharma into the equation. I for one, take their biased conclusions, with a healthy dose of skepticism and a grain of salt.
Thank you for this most informative website.
Marjorie
Thanks for sharing your perspective, Marjorie. It’s a good reminder for patients to report their own significant drug side effects (here’s the FDA MedWatch reporting info). And unless you are already a heart patient at high risk for future cardiac events, there is considerable evidence that women at low risk for cardiovascular disease should not take statins merely for the purposes of managing (intermediate endpoint) cholesterol numbers.
This is SO TRUE! Thanks for this revealing look at what works in selling – and why. I’ll never look at paint colors the same way again. Love your blog.
[...] The Ethical Nag Posted in Landscaping | Tags: [...]
Thanks, Junie. This campaign has affected how I look at paint, too!