" Do you think a superhuman power plays a bigger part in deciding whether the embryo should implant or not? From your experience as an IVF doctor for several years whats your conclusion after seeing so many IVF cases - or do you think its just science, probability and luck? Have your ever noticed any difference in a successful patient's mentality and an unsuccessful one?"
In all honesty, this is one of those questions no one has an answer to. We can only guess. All IVF doctors will agree that IVF is not a precise science - and we can never predict the outcome of any treatment cycle, no matter how well it goes.
The truth is that being human, we are all inclined to repose our faith in a higher power, especially when we are in trouble ; and are struggling ( for example, when tackling with infertility) and need help. This is a normal response, as we try to make sense of life when bad things happen to us. However, whether a belief in God actually helps to improve IVF outcomes is highly debatable. While some studies claimed that praying helped to improve medical outcomes for some patients, there is no evidence that this will really do so .
IVF is one of modern science's success stories ! It allows us to do in the IVF lab which is not happening normally in the bedroom. When nature fails infertile patients, science comes to their rescue . So where does God fit into this ? Is IVF unnatural and interfering with God's plan ? Are IVF doctors playing God ?
The relationship between God, science and spirituality is pretty complex. Many infertile patients believe God is punishing them by not giving them a baby ( this is especially true if they have done a termination of pregnancy earlier). Others are happy to benefit from what science offers them by making use of IVF technology - but will also go to a temple before doing IVF, to cover all their bases. This helps them because science does not have all the answers; and there's still lots of stuff we do not understand.
A belief in God helps you cope with the IVF emotional roller coaster ride. It's easier to deal with ups and downs when you feel that a higher power is looking after you ! When you learn that doctors don't always have all the answers, it's comforting to believe there is someone who does. This is why many IVF patients turn to God during their IVF treatment.
Others will turn away from God, especially when their IVF cycle fails. As it is their faith in God is shaky, because their first question when they find out they are infertile is always - Why Me ? They feel God has let them down by picking on them - and when he fails to come to their rescue by allowing the IVF cycle to fail, they feel he has forsaken them - and promptly lose what little faith they had to start off with. Lots of patients are very inconsistent. They are happy to do their best to placate God when they feel this may increase their chances of success - but when the IVF cycle fails, they lose all faith in him. This difference in worldviews can be quite a problem when the spouses have diametrically opposite viewpoints !
Does being spiritual and having a belief in a higher power help people to remain more positive ? Or does being scientific and rational help because it's easier to come to terms with failure when you know you've done everything which medical science has to offer ? What's your opinion ?
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Sign in nowThank you very much doctor for this blog post. As a patient suffering with infertility I am constantly advised by my friends and family to try different forms of worship ( for example lighting lamps to a particular God or Goddess at a particular time of the day TO visiting certain temples and pray that I will offer something in return when I have my baby (!) ) . I do understand people say all these things out of love and they are desperate to help me out. BUT the pain that they create to me or an infertile woman (nobody ever say such things to a infertile man ☺ ) is not easy to describe. First they are interfering with my own beleifs and ideology. Second they indirectly tell me that not able to have a baby is a punishment from God and I shoul pacify Him with my prayers and bribe Him ( what to call it when I should pray that I offer God something and expect something in return? ). When I brush off their instructions with a smile ( I have to be diplomatic !!!) they consider me to be a woman who is proud, stubborn and not God-fearing (!!!). Have no idea who invented this word God-fearing!
After going through this IVF journey for 3 years with no baby in hand still I am adamant (!) and I have never done anything I am advised to do. I am not an atheist. I love God or the concept of God. But I beleive that spirituality is not about seeking an all in all cure for our physical and mental ailments. Spirituality is all about sustaining life and living happily amongst those ailments.
When my IVF cycle starts I ask God for the moral strength to go through the process and have a positive outcome. When my cycle fails I ask Him to give me the strength to bear the pain and come out of it as early as possible. So what happens when a woman undergoing IVF puts too much of her emotional energy thinking about God and doing things to please (!) Him ? When the outcome is positive everything is well and good (even then they learn a wrong lesson in their life that pleasing God by various means will solve their problems in life ) but if it is negative she has to again face a huge amount of emotional turmoil because in the first place she has to deal with the failure and she has to also come to terms with why God has let her down? When I beleive in science I understand the limitations but when I beleive God I do not understand the limitatios because from young age I am taught that God is a magician who can perform miracles.
When my last cycle failed my mom and my husband are totally broken down including me ofcourse! When I wanted to go to temple after we got the negative result in hand ( where do I get solace more than telling Him my pain) both of them cannot even think of visiting God ☺. For me going to temple would calm dowm my mind because I didn’t have any unrealistic expectations on the power of God. The pity is that after undergoing such a difficult process both physically and mentally (from will I develop enough follicles or will my body let me down to am I doing anything wrong that will affect my embryos from implanting) I am the one who consoled both of them !!!
Beleif in God will not help with the IVF roller coaster ride. Only proper patient education or as you say information therapy will help. If God is the one who decides which human being should have baby or babies or if He is the one who is in charge of all the babies coming into this world how will you explain teen-age pregnancies, abortions, so many orphaned road-side children, children born to drug addicts, HIV positive people ( I am not meaning that HIV +ve people should not have children, I just mean how children are born with HIV with no fault of theirs), pedophiles and so on?????? When nature can create disasters how can such a well-controlled IVF process be unnatural and interfering with GOD’s plan? IVF is a boon to infertile couples and IVF doctor and embryologist holds a much responsible position than that of God because atleast they have some control over the entire process while God doesn’t. God has given humans the knowledge to find out IVF technique and His work ends there in helping infertile couples and the remaining responsibility He has given to doctors like you ☺
When writing this even some of my doubts and fears have cleared out. Thank you once again. Please do help patients who suffer with emotional turmoil because of unrealistic beleifs and expectations. I am sure you are doing it already ☺
I agree with you that a belief in God does not mean that he will do everything you want ! It's selfish to expect this. True belief is the faith that whatever happens, happens for the best.
Dr Aniruddha Malpani, MD
Malpani Infertility Clinic, Jamuna Sagar, SBS Road, Colaba
Bombay 400 005. India
Tel: 91-22-22151065, 22151066, 2218 3270, 65527073
Helping you to build your family !
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best regards and a big thanx to Dr.Malpani.
Prasad