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Should doctors hug their patients?
Some of us doctors hug as part of being a humanistic human being beyond simply a doctor of medicine. Some of us actually hug our patients or patients' family members. We hug, not out of sexual excitement or anticipation, but out of a sense of the need to express directly compassion and support at the time of a patient crisis. As an important human behavior, I would like to ask a series of questions regarding hugging in a doctor-patient/doctor-patient's family context.
Is hugging a patient professional? Does it exceed boundaries of professional behavior? Does it invade the patient's privacy? Should doctors first ask the patient "may I hug you?" and wait for permission? When you are upset and in distress and need the attention and compassion of someone who shows that he or she cares about your feeling, should you or would you accept a hug from your doctor without them asking? Have you ever hugged your doctor? If you hugged your doctor, would you feel comfortable for your doctor to hugged you back? ..Maurice.
Is hugging a patient professional? Does it exceed boundaries of professional behavior? Does it invade the patient's privacy? Should doctors first ask the patient "may I hug you?" and wait for permission? When you are upset and in distress and need the attention and compassion of someone who shows that he or she cares about your feeling, should you or would you accept a hug from your doctor without them asking? Have you ever hugged your doctor? If you hugged your doctor, would you feel comfortable for your doctor to hugged you back? ..Maurice.
asked Sep 14, 2010 at 10:06PM in Other
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2Votes
answered Sep 15, 2010 at 10:03AMI can only speak for myself as a patient, and it does depend on what the patient is going through.
When I was going through cancer treatment, I got lots of hugs from doctors, nurses, and other medical personnel, and it made me feel special -- like they all cared about me. Nobody asked whether they could hug me, but I really needed all the hugs from as many people as possible. It made me feel that the Cancer Care Center was a place filled with warmth, rather than just a cold, hostile environment.
Before my preventive double mastectomy with reconstruction years later, I initiated hugs, and doctors hugged me back for good luck. My doctors are not afraid to give that nice warm touch that someone like me needed.
Now that I'm a followup patient and cancer survivor and thriver, I don't need the hugs and doctors aren't giving them, which is more than fine with me. It would be weird for us to keep hugging each other. However, if a distressing circumstance were to resurface again, I know I'd need those hugs again.
My doctors are wonderful.
By the way, and this is a separate, but related issue, I've noticed that there seems to be a trend of nurses asking patients if they feel comfortable alone in the examining room with their doctor. I've been asked this, and each time I thought it was weird and said I'd prefer just my doctor. The doctor and I chatted about this and agreed that this type of question was ridiculous.
Maybe the hospital's "hug police" are afraid of a potential lawsuit if there's a hug going on in the examining room. As I said, really weird. -
1Votesanswered Sep 15, 2010 at 02:51PMBut Kim, do you really want the doctor-patient relationship to be what I might describe as "sterile"? Are not both humans, both together on this planet, in this country, in this city and community both facing the risks of life and the inevitability of death together. Shouldn't there be a perhaps warmer connection between the two beyond simply a handshake?
With regard to where a hug is given, if it is to be given, I would advise it should be "out in the open" and not between a doctor and patient in a closed examination room with no one else present. ..Maurice. -
1Votes
answered Sep 15, 2010 at 08:33PMYes, doctor and patient are two friends. Doctor likes his/her patients and hugging is a good sign of intimacy and friendship. I, as a doctor, keeping good relation with my patients and trying to impress them till they convince that both are humans and no one is superior than other. -
1Votesanswered Sep 16, 2010 at 06:27AMI do see Kim's point. I think a great doctor will cater to the needs of the patient. Some patients don't want to be hugged, and that's OK, as long as the doctor is able to gather that from the visit.
On the other hand, I don't think doctors who hug patients are medically incompetant. In fact, the human factor is really important in medicine. I think that doctors who are kind and warm and show this by hugs can help patients keep a positive attitude and feel very appreciated. I know this was my case. I think the appropriate physical hugs enhanced the medical treatment I was receiving because I did feel less afraid and felt a stronger connection to my doctors.
When I was ill, sometimes a hug was what I needed to get through the day. And I remember one instance when I broke down in tears, and a nurse rocked me and wiped away my tears. I will never forget that moment of comfort and will carry that wonderful, albeit bittersweet, memory with me forever. -
1Votes
answered Sep 16, 2010 at 07:43AMI believe the answer to this question lies not within the bounds of "Ethics" but humanity. While we are discussing this within the context of a doctor-patient relationship, it is really about the relationship between two people. Have I ever hugged a patient? Of course. I have had patients who I've seen for more than 20 years and at each visit, we would discuss our families, world events and a variety of other things as friends, in addition to their medical condition. If a moment arrived that called for it, we would hug. I even do this in my legal practice as well (not to mention with friends who I have no professional relationship with).It's kind of like being on a first date and wondering whether to try to kiss the other person. The only real answer is, "it depends." On the other hand, I do not have this relationship with most people, so a handshake, a smile, and a kind word is all that is appropriate in a less casual interaction.
I'm sure there are times when a physician attempts to hug a patient that doesn't want to be hugged, or a patient hugs a physician who feels uncomfortable with it. There are times when I wanted to kiss a date goodnight who didn't want it (and let me know when I tried), and others who wondered why I hadn't even tried. These are mistakes that we all make in our lives periodically, and all that is required is a small signal (e.g. holding someone away) to avert the event and maintain a comfort level into the future. Let's not blow a small and potentially comforting interpersonal gesture into a major controversy; it simply isn't. -
1Votes
answered Oct 15, 2010 at 01:43PMThe doctor-patient relationship is humane as well as professional, but a caveat: Words can reflect warmth, concern, and understanding and are less likely to be misinterpreted or confuse, and perhaps scare some patients than a hug or embrace. And, of course, we are then responsible for what we create. -
0Votesanswered Oct 15, 2010 at 02:31PMI tend to agree with Eric on this matter. A hug conveys to the recipient much more, I think, than words and despite the way those words are expressed. A hug can transmit a sense of empathy from one body to the other more than words.
I was impressed on the extent of hugging we all watched on television that went on during the current rescue of the miners in Chile. It was a common and virtually instinctive response to a very emotional event. And it seemed to occur between those of quite different social strata (including participation by the President of Chile himself).
Sudden and unexpected hugging without words could be misinterpreted. However, a few meaningful words into the ear of the one being hugged is all that is necessary. ..Maurice. -
2Votesanswered Oct 15, 2010 at 05:06PMI also enjoyed watching the successful rescue of the Chilean minors, feeling their joy with my own. But Kim's point is well taken. Some cultures are comfortable with emotional expression while others value emotional control. The scene might have been quite different in Japan and many other places with no less happiness and relief. Maurice's point that a hug can convey more is I think correct but physical expression is less precise than words and can make some people uncomfortable, or, in a few instances, worse. Patients with dependency needs or histories of sexual abuse and BPD characteristics may ab-react, and the 'fix' may not be simple. In most instances, of course, a hug is a very nice gesture. My note was simply a caveat. I think the issue is interesting, somewhat complex, and not amenable to a 'this is ok and that is not' response. Knowing patients well before shifting boundaries helps.
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