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How to tell a family member I have cancer over the phone.
2 and a half weeks after being diagnosed with Invasive duct cancer (?) & having a lumpectomy and 3 nodes removed, I finally had the two ton truck ht me in the realisation that it is happening to me. I am in pieces. Crying, panic, feeling sick, in othe words, all the normal symptoms of realisation I guess. .. and the 'son' I have loved and cared for for ten years is thousands of miles away in India. I was on a visa trip to the west when I found the lump and was supposed to be going back on July 8th to apply for his study visa. Now my world is crashing down, after ten years - my 'son' does not yet know - I can't tell him over the phone. He is profoundly physically disabled yet brilliant and I adore him. I just don't know what to do.
asked Jun 02 at 02:26AM in Oncology/Cancer
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0Votes
answered Jun 02 at 07:43PMAcute crisis, like you're in now, is not a bad sign. So, have it come as you do, don't go for anti-depressants or tranquilizers, and find yourself an experiential psychotherapist. Not because you're mentally ill -your reaction is a healthy and adequate reaction to a two ton truck- but to get support, to explore the themes of your life that may be involved and value those that are the mst crucial ones of your life.
I use psychodrama as the main technique. You may find a psychodramatherapist in the States who could work like that: Other useful techniques are Gendlin's Focussing, Psychosynthesis, Gestalt, dreamanalysis. Basically, any approach that is experiential, rather than cognitive.
If you like to read, get LeShan's 'Cancer as a turning point'. -
0Votesanswered Jun 03 at 07:45AMThank you so much for answering my question - it's day three and I have started to feel better - lifting out slowly. Having to wait another week until the staging etc...makes me a little fraught to say the least, but I am learning to cope. Our lives are going to be so dramatically rerouted through this cancer and that's harder to deal with than the cancer itself. My little boy is so far away and I am helpless at present.
I always try to get through these times of stress without meds, as I dont like taking them - hmm here comes chemo though - but was on the point of losing it when I wrote the question. Day by day,one at a time, good with the bad. Rollercoaster time again!
Blessings again and thankyou
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The content on or accessible through Medpedia.com is for informational purposes only. Medpedia is not a substitute for professional advice or expert medical services from a qualified health professional.
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